Healing After Losing a Child

Como Zoo (60)As you may have read in the first part of my story, The Loss of a Child, in the Fall of 2010 we lost a child in a miscarriage.

After experiencing any loss there is a grieving process that looks different for each individual.

The first step for me was accepting that it was okay for me to be sad and grieve.  There was something in me that felt like my loss wasn’t really a loss because it was so early on and when you know people who have delivered babies at 20 weeks or even 40 weeks to find a still born child, I felt unworthy to cry for my child.  I’m so thankful for friends who encouraged me to grieve for my son or daughter that I will see in Heaven some day.

Step two was accepting that my husband and I would walk a different path but we would both grieve.  For my husband it came out on the basketball court and for me it was through tears and open conversations with a few close friends.

There was one place that brought me a lot of healing.  The weekend after the miscarriage, I attended a Women of Faith Conference with a friend.  Their conferences are filled with amazing speakers and amazing worship – there is nothing better than praising Jesus with a packed stadium full of other women.

One song touch my soul in a deep, cleansing way.  The worship team sang “Healer by Kari Jobe“.

You hold my very moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in You, Lord I trust in You

I believe You’re my healer
I believe You are all I need
Oh, I believe

I believe You’re my portion
I believe You’re more than enough for me

Jesus You’re all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

These were the words that God used to heal my heart.  I knew that Jesus was all I needed and He was holding me in His hands.

I cried healing tears that day, surrounded by millions of other women-many of whom had also been through the loss of a child.

After that day, I began to speak openly about my experience in places like our small group from church.  I realized that, unfortunately, MANY people have lost children.  These losses cover a whole range of circumstances.  Some people have experienced multiple miscarriages and others delivered babies to only enjoy their cuddles for too short of a time.  And those who have lost grown children to disease, accidents or war.

No matter how you lose a child it is painful.  We are not supposed to go before our children.  We will heal, but never forget.

I share my story to heal, remember and encourage those who need to know they are not alone.


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